CLOSED.

gone fishin.

this is the voice

a rant. for me. I have to get it out.

I just got fucked. so fucked. by some piece of shit liar. and it is a financial matter. I am an honest person and did business honestly and honorably. and you are a fucking liar. I'm not going to feel sorry for myself about it, but I will let myself be pissed for a time. I got enough other fucking bullshit going on and you gotta make it worse by fucking me, which now fucks up a lot of other things financially for me.

and you know what fucks me over the most? I hate it when this sort of shit happens to good people I know. and it seems to happen a lot. good people who are honest and do their best and get fucked over by the shit of the earth. they don't deserve it. good people that still believe in doing good works and rarely ask the world to cut them a break seem to get screwed the worst. I guess it's why even the rarest tiniest victories come as such sweet shocks. I normally try not to let shit bother me and to keep my head up and just fight the good fight and keep my opinions to myself when some people always come out smelling like roses...BUT FUCK I AM SO TIRED OF THIS.

so congratulations you motherfucking piece of shit liar. you think you are so smart because you found a loophole to fuck me through. God knows what you fucking need the money for, but enjoy it you fucking piece of garbage.

the greatest follies!

well let's see...what will it be next? what perverse over-extension of effort now?

...

...

tones

I'm not great or accomplished at playing the instrument of guitar, but my god do I love tone.

I crave it like a junkie does a needle. there are sounds buried in my ringing tin ears waiting to find their soul mate manifestion.

I know some chords and stuff but can't solo worth a damn; mostly I just play how I think things should sound, to the best of my ability with varying degrees of success/failure. I give it everything I got for sure but it is frustrating. I think with some lessons and even more practice someday I could have a real command of my instrument.

but you can't teach tone. it's from the soul of each player. some people GET IT, like REALLY GET IT and other people just think they do. but man I can't even imagine how empty I would feel if I didn't have the tone soul search in my dumb body.

I like how lightning tickles my spine when I can feel the flow of something from my fingers on the neck and the body against mine as it pours out in archaic pure electricity to something that gives it even more voice, sweet or searing. it probably sounds childish but I don't care and I don't really know how to explain it.

someday I hope to be a better player and be able to share my sound vision with as many people as possible. it would be nice.

Mom, I love you so much I could cry.