I crave it like a junkie does a needle. there are sounds buried in my ringing tin ears waiting to find their soul mate manifestion.
I know some chords and stuff but can't solo worth a damn; mostly I just play how I think things should sound, to the best of my ability with varying degrees of success/failure. I give it everything I got for sure but it is frustrating. I think with some lessons and even more practice someday I could have a real command of my instrument.
but you can't teach tone. it's from the soul of each player. some people GET IT, like REALLY GET IT and other people just think they do. but man I can't even imagine how empty I would feel if I didn't have the tone soul search in my dumb body.
I like how lightning tickles my spine when I can feel the flow of something from my fingers on the neck and the body against mine as it pours out in archaic pure electricity to something that gives it even more voice, sweet or searing. it probably sounds childish but I don't care and I don't really know how to explain it.
someday I hope to be a better player and be able to share my sound vision with as many people as possible. it would be nice.